One of the greatest and most common "compliments" I get from my massage clients is about how normal I am. I always laugh to myself when I hear it because I'm not sure it is actually true. But one of my greatest strengths as a business person and a communicator is that of being a chameleon. That is, I am able to blend in well with my environment, no matter where I happen to be or who I happen to be talking to at the moment.



Some people might say this talent is actually deceptive - that I am not showing my true colors - and somehow I am being dishonest. But I would say that I am showing my true colors to everyone I deal with - just not all of them at the same moment or in every situation.

This ability came in part from my training as a bartender in which we were advised to steer bar patrons away from controversial topics (sex, religion, politics) to keep our tips high and sales higher. It also came from a suggestion I read about dealing with conflict in a self-help book years ago. It basically said, "If you're not sure what you are going to say will make the situation better, or at least keep it neutral, then say nothing."

Following these two pieces of advice has kept me "normal" in the eyes of most of my clients. During our interactions, I stay away from topics I sense we don't agree on. Instead, I find areas of interest or conversation we both will enjoy. (You'd probably be surprised how much I know about college basketball and football.) I also give them suggestions for treatments, self-care or reading that I think they will find approachable and within their comfort zones. And especially in the beginning, I let them show me where they want our adventure together to go.

Later, as we get to know each other better and have developed rapport, I will venture off the safe path from time to time if I think it will help them in their pursuit of relaxation and wellness. I suggest yoga. I refer them for acupuncture and chiropractic. I provide links to alternative healthcare websites. I tell them about a psychic I went to and liked.

But at least in the beginning - and perhaps forever -  I will temper myself and my comments to stay pretty close to their current definition of "normal" and approachable in our sessions. Then they can totally relax and experience the very highest level of healing and relaxation possible while they are on my table. And isn't that the ultimate goal?