How Much Should Our Clients Know About Us?

Felicia,

I have a situation that I need your guidance on. A massage client of mine over heard me talking about the vacation place that my husband and I go to twice a year. This client now wants information about the house we stay in, but I feel awkward giving her this information. This house has sort of become our "retreat" and is like our second home. Knowing that one of my clients will be staying in it as well leaves me with an uneasy feeling. I am not sure how to handle this.

Am I just over reacting to this? Am I making a bigger deal out of it? Should I just give her the info and try to get over my awkwardness? Can you help me or guide me with this?

I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this.

Concerned About My Vacations

Dear Concerned -

First of all I think I understand your feeling - perhaps that it is not enough separation from you and your client from your perspective...that it would seem creepy to be sleeping "in the same bed" as she would on vacation even though you wouldn't be there together.
 
When I owned my first spa, I had a really hard time escaping from work and would go out of my way to avoid clients in my down time. I think this was because I was really burned out so that may be something to consider. I'm curious though, would you feel this way if she asked you for the name of a restaurant you really liked or a store where you enjoyed shopping and then went there too? It's a little different, but theoretically you could be sitting at the same table, eating the same entrées, etc. on your separate visits. If so, then perhaps it is something else.
 
OK...so to the question about should you tell her or not. Can you be a little vague and just give her the name of the rental company you use but not remember the exact property? Chances are good that she won't actually go there anyway, but this way you can follow through on her request without seeming like it is a burden to give her the details. Or you could just avoid the topic until she stops asking although this might make you seem less professional and could change the relationship between you in her eyes. It's possible too that it's already slipped her mind and it will never come up again. Let's hope so
 
On a different note, I think this whole thing illustrates the need for some better separation between your work and personal lives at least for your own sake. To me the biggest step you can take to avoid this type of situation is to keep personal phone calls limited to time when clients are not present or within earshot. If you keep your sessions (and conversations within them) client focused as well, this type of situation is much less likely to occur.
 
I encourage you to do some soul searching about what boundaries you want and need to add in your practice to make it more comfortable, safe and satisfying for you. If you need any kind of worksheet or exercise to help with this, let me know.

Felicia

Do you have a business or ethics question that you can't find an answer to? Email me at Felicia@spalutions.com for a free answer and your chance to see it posted on the blog here where others can also learn from your experience.

Posted by Felicia Brown LMBT at 1/15/2010 7:34 AM
Categories: Business Q and A
Tags: boundaries client care massage therapist ethics
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