The Wounded Healer - watch this video:-)
Throughout the years of receiving massage, bodywork, energy work, facials and other spa treatments, I have had some exceptional experiences from some truly gifted people. I've also met a number of people in the spa and healing arts industry (and the fringes) that have touted themselves as "healers" - a term and practice that immediately turns me off and makes me question their authenticity. Worse still, some of these folks wear their own pain on their sleeve making it abundantly clear to anyone they come in contact with that not only they are a healer, but they are a "wounded healer." Gag me.
Why do I react this way? In my experience, most of those who have a true gift are more humble and client-centered rather than ego-based and centered. Their caring and desire to help others comes from a deep place of compassion and understanding rather than a need to brag, be lifted up or have their ego stroked. Anyone who has to tell you how gifted they are (and how wounded) is clearly not putting their intention and energies on the client first. Though this type of behavior can sometimes come from people new to the healing arts who will eventually wise up - sooner rather than later I hope - it is not only ego-centric but also largely ineffective and in some cases can be unethical.
My friend and colleague, Laura Allen, shared this video with me a few days ago and I think it gives a very clear example of what the highest form of The Wounded Healer can be. Hope you enjoy it, share with others, and take the information in it to heart.
Why do I react this way? In my experience, most of those who have a true gift are more humble and client-centered rather than ego-based and centered. Their caring and desire to help others comes from a deep place of compassion and understanding rather than a need to brag, be lifted up or have their ego stroked. Anyone who has to tell you how gifted they are (and how wounded) is clearly not putting their intention and energies on the client first. Though this type of behavior can sometimes come from people new to the healing arts who will eventually wise up - sooner rather than later I hope - it is not only ego-centric but also largely ineffective and in some cases can be unethical.
My friend and colleague, Laura Allen, shared this video with me a few days ago and I think it gives a very clear example of what the highest form of The Wounded Healer can be. Hope you enjoy it, share with others, and take the information in it to heart.
Posted by Felicia Brown LMBT at 9/21/2009 9:28 AM 
Categories: Professional Ethics, Client Care and Customer Service, Success in Life and Business
Tags: ethics the client experience letting go attitude healing
Categories: Professional Ethics, Client Care and Customer Service, Success in Life and Business
Tags: ethics the client experience letting go attitude healing
Enough said. Couldn't put it any better myself.
Thanks for sharing this video.
Kat Krug
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I would actually say that most massage therapists are wounded healers. They don't have to go around saying that they are but it is an unconscious part of what brings most into this profession and most helping professions. It comes out in everything that you do. It is the underlying and often unconscious reason why people want to help others.
It shows up in things like:
- always giving your advice to clients
- not making the money that you need to make to be successful
- not doing the marketing one needs to be successful
- not taking care of your self so that you end up injured, sick and not able to work or do the number of massages you need to do to be successful.
But it doesn't have to get you. The first thing is becoming aware of it and working to uncover your reasons for wanting to help.
Julie
http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/the-wounded-healer-massage-therapist/
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Thanks Julie.
Those are all valid points. As a consultant, trainer and instructor of business, marketing and ethics, I often see issues with these areas in many people who are in the massage and spa industry. Some folks tend to try and help others instead of themselves and allow their own needs to become secondary to the needs of their clients or even employees.
However, what I really got out of the video was that we have to have been "broken" in order to understand the pain our clients may be enduring and to have compassion of the deepest sort. I think that having a few scars from being "wounded" can actually make us stronger in a sense. It does not always leave us with weak boundaries, low self-esteem or an inability to support ourselves - although admittedly sometimes it does cause problems for people in our industry.
The keys for me (and what I share with my students and clients over and over) to maintaining the highest energy and power of the wounded healer (rather than allowing the shadow side of the persona to take over) are several: to constantly monitor how I am feeling in my client, business and personal relationships; to assess if my personal emotional, physical and mental needs are getting met regularly; to determine if various situations, actions and/or inactions are healthy and positive for me; to listen to my inner voice; and to give myself the same level of compassion and care that I offer others. In other words, just like the first rule of first aid training, do not create any other victims. I hope that anyone who watches this video allows the message and our comments to help them see whether they fall into the shadow side or the "light" side of the wounded healer and will encourage them to take the necessary steps to support and "heal" themselves and their businesses
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Thanks for this valuable reminder. When I first started training in massage, I had the fortune to come across a book called The Way of the Physician (or wounded healer) by Jacob Needleman.
I read it on the train as I traveled to my training and I believe it kept me humble. Perhaps many people who choose to study the healing arts do so because they are in need of healing themselves. It's a good choice but only if conducted with consciousness.
As experienced practitioners, we do well always to evaluate our own wounds and how they might interface with those of our clients in ways that interfere with, or even harm, the therapeutic relationships we are engaged in. For this reason, it is helpful to continue to be a receiver of the work you are offering and to put yourself in the role of client on a regular basis. Whether giver or receiver, we are in the same river of life.
The above is actually a quote from an article I wrote on this topic for aquatic massage therapists. The complete article can be seen here:
http://tinyurl.com/ylx7ozp
Comments there most welcome!
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